Seven Star tried to gather the troops for lunch today. I could tell what he was doing. I told him we didn’t have to wait, and if he wasn’t so hungry he probably would have hung around waiting for the crew to assemble.
We loaded up our trays and sat at a table just as everyone else was arriving. He went and got the rice dessert and proceeded to dish up some for everyone else, distributing them at the empty seats like place markers. Y went to another table, and everyone came over to our table, grabbed the cups of rice dessert, and carried them over to where Y was sitting.
Seven Star proceeded to tell me (for the second time) that time heals all wounds, and that he hoped Y and I would mend our differences. I told him I hoped we didn’t. He told me he thought it was cultural differences. I told him I didn’t have these problems with anyone else Korean. He told me she said I misunderstood her. I told him she was domineering, controlling, that she liked me TOO MUCH, and that I was enjoying my freedom. He told me again that he hoped time would mend our differences. He told me he doesn’t like westerners, and that I am the only westerner he has liked and that it is a problem because Y is his favorite teacher. I asked him if he’d ever had anyone like him too much. I told him she treated me like a pet. I told him I didn’t need that in my life.
In this group society, the clique around Y enjoys her politics and her aggression. She is a legend because she is so libertine and open-minded. They sometimes suffer her insensitivities because she is a unique force. But they would never, ever cross her or do anything to jeopardize being part of her clique.
So my rejection of Y causes this huge conflict to all. As a group society, they believe the most pitiful thing in the world is to eat alone or do anything in isolation. To see me do so is seen as suffering to them, when I am actually reveling in the lack of social pressure. As caring people, they want to sit with me, but as part of a clique of rebels and intellectuals, they can’t afford and don’t want to break rank. They also see my rejection of her as cold and yet another example of western barbarism. I wonder what they would think if I told them the truth about her sexual advances…it’s so very tempting…I wish I could explain the nuances of individual rights and the violation of people’s self determination by having ones wishes disrespected and being pressured into something you don’t want to do.
Is the desire for my own vindication worth it? Maybe. But I just want the next five months to fly by.
Did I luck out in Korea, or what?
ha ha ha!!!!