time heals all wounds


Seven Star tried to gather the troops for lunch today. I could tell what he was doing. I told him we didn’t have to wait, and if he wasn’t so hungry he probably would have hung around waiting for the crew to assemble.

We loaded up our trays and sat at a table just as everyone else was arriving. He went and got the rice dessert and proceeded to dish up some for everyone else, distributing them at the empty seats like place markers. Y went to another table, and everyone came over to our table, grabbed the cups of rice dessert, and carried them over to where Y was sitting.

Seven Star proceeded to tell me (for the second time) that time heals all wounds, and that he hoped Y and I would mend our differences. I told him I hoped we didn’t. He told me he thought it was cultural differences. I told him I didn’t have these problems with anyone else Korean. He told me she said I misunderstood her. I told him she was domineering, controlling, that she liked me TOO MUCH, and that I was enjoying my freedom. He told me again that he hoped time would mend our differences. He told me he doesn’t like westerners, and that I am the only westerner he has liked and that it is a problem because Y is his favorite teacher. I asked him if he’d ever had anyone like him too much. I told him she treated me like a pet. I told him I didn’t need that in my life.

In this group society, the clique around Y enjoys her politics and her aggression. She is a legend because she is so libertine and open-minded. They sometimes suffer her insensitivities because she is a unique force. But they would never, ever cross her or do anything to jeopardize being part of her clique.

So my rejection of Y causes this huge conflict to all. As a group society, they believe the most pitiful thing in the world is to eat alone or do anything in isolation. To see me do so is seen as suffering to them, when I am actually reveling in the lack of social pressure. As caring people, they want to sit with me, but as part of a clique of rebels and intellectuals, they can’t afford and don’t want to break rank. They also see my rejection of her as cold and yet another example of western barbarism. I wonder what they would think if I told them the truth about her sexual advances…it’s so very tempting…I wish I could explain the nuances of individual rights and the violation of people’s self determination by having ones wishes disrespected and being pressured into something you don’t want to do.

Is the desire for my own vindication worth it? Maybe. But I just want the next five months to fly by.

Did I luck out in Korea, or what?

ha ha ha!!!!

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5 thoughts on “time heals all wounds

  1. I dont understand how these things seem to happen to you?!?! Who else would have “Korean-Lesbian Sexual Harassment”? Amazing!

  2. meh, things are not all bad…like I said, I’m glad to be free…

    It didn’t quite get to the point of sexual harassment: I cut it off before that happened, but it was clearly becoming one of those fatal attraction things. I did explain to Seven Star what was going on, and he’s been really nice to me.

    In the meantime, my new co-teacher Tracie is awesome: she gets to class early, comes up with creative ideas for the students to participate more, and is fully involved with engaging the students to talk and managing the classroom. Also, the English Zone is mid construction and it looks like they’re really making it super-deluxe, and I can look forward to utilizing it for at least three months. Plus I’ve gotten a lot of input on what the design is and what materials I want, etc.

    Mr. Lee is suffering because I’m giving dictation to half of the boy classes. Too bad for him…someone’s got to be tough. And I’d rather treat the boys like a prison warden than have them abuse me while he massages and encourages the worst offenders.

    I’ve got a cool new neighbor a block away, and am getting to know OTHER Korean teachers besides the clique.

    The TRACK website takes up the rest of my spare time. Just getting the structure right takes many trials. So keeping busy. Exhausted, but doing fine.

  3. I imagined you having the sexual advances from a lesbian in your birth country, when it could have happened anywhere else. it made me laugh.

  4. Just to set the record straight, (omg, this is such a strange medium. Where does telling my own struggles end and trashing others begin?) Most lesbians I know would have more respect for my self-determination and wouldn’t be so clueless.

    No, Y is a vampire. Strong-willed. She wants what she wants and wants it completely. But she didn’t do this maliciously.

    Of the few that have communicative access to me, Y is the only one that bothered to take the time to do so. So there is some measure of control there, as she became my default access to communicate with everyone else. She got a little giddy with this power. I was kind of a captive.

    The way I have handled the documentary, the fight with Korvia, the asserting my rights at school, and my views about the Korean school system and society all contributed to this mess. It went from curiosity to admiration to fascination to some weird mix of love and obsession.

    I’m sure she’s feeling twice as bad as I am right now. She was deaf and blind to every single thing I said to discourage her or to try to establish personal space. She was so “into” me that she wanted to believe it was reciprocated. It’s actually kind of sad…

    It was not the sexual advances, but how that was the tipping point for invading every aspect of my life.

    Being loved by someone like Y was suffocating. I really feel sorry for her son…

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